Marraige Is Tough

[Pussecat]

Marraige is hard work... plain and simple. Its a lot of giving, self sacrafice, listening, patience, understanding, nurturing, caring, love, tolerance, working together, organization, its team work, ethics, agreements, wow this list can go on and on... It is especially hard when you marry young, like I did, especially financially. I learned the hard way, of course, and did the whole thing backward. Live together, baby next, then marraige. I started at 16. I wanted a jump start!!! LoL No..really I missed out on so much, I feel like I've been married forever! Now 20 years later, I'm having marraige issues. Why? Because people change. I'm not the little girl I was at 16, or even 25... now I'm 37, and I've changed. My point of views on things, how I believe, things I want to do, how I express myself...so many things. My husband has changed too, of course, matured, etc. We both have...and it's driving us apart. We weren't really fully grown adults when we married, we didn't 'know' each other, we fought a lot! We had tons of financial problems, made loads of mistakes... I mean at least we learned from all that, but, we were children raising a child of our own also, and it was tough to out on our own. Anyway, we've gone 20 years together, and people have applauded that in this time and age, but, now we are in marraige counselling, this is not the first time, but it is the most critical one I believe. I know we both care about each other, thats a given, are we 'in love' with each other? I doubt it. Do we 'love' each other? Yes, like you would your best friend. I don't know if this is normal for a 20 y/o marraige or not...it's just how it is right now. A lot of hard feelings to get over, blame, secrets, family injustices, you did this...and you did that...etc., it really builds up. I guess I'm a stubborn person, or, I'm just loyal....I'm not sure which one yet. Well I don't know if there are many married women here or not. I see a lot of single women here, but, I'm glad I can vent a bit here. Thanks...


Pussecat